Blogs Like a Girl

#i'mwithconan phenomenon speaks to 30-something angst that this whole thing is a Bernie Madoff pyramid scheme

If I watched a lot of late-night TV, I'd watch Conan. This probably was his problem.

Those of us 20- and 30-somethings who found him intelligent and witty, disarming and funny and way funnier than Jay Leno on his best day were not prone to watching late, local news and variety shows that followed. In fact, I probably only watched Conan a handful of times. My best memories of him were from his Late Night days when he really brought The Funny. And I always said "wow, I really need to TiVo him" because like Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, David Letterman and Tina Fey he always produced giggles. I enjoyed watching when I remembered to watch.

So I was surprised by my reaction as news leaked of NBC's decision to yank The Tonight Show from Conan barely seven months after being passed The Torch from Leno. I was ticked. Seriously angry, about a show I only barely watch. And I was not alone. My Facebook page buzzed with friends mostly of my generation joining I'm With Coco and Team Coco fan pages. In the millions.

I had a theory, and I wanted to test. So on my Facebook I posted this: "To my Conan-loving, I'm-With-Coco friends: Why so galvanized on this issue? I have a theory but want to pick a few brains for a blog post I have been arranging in my mind. So I want to know what about the Leno-Conan situation has you fired up."
Wow, oh wow. My inbox jammed.

And not surprisingly at all, many of my friends voiced what I had been feeling. My generation, or a good segment, relates to Conan because we know what being screwed out of an opportunity feels like. Or we fear that day is coming. We have been working for a while now, working our way up in varying professions, working our butts off in hopes of advancing and reaping rewards. We were told "you got next", or "just hang in there", or "wait your turn" as a way to keep us going. And not unlike Conan, we did. He had been promised The Tonight Show five years ago by Leno mind you, as a way of keeping him at NBC instead of grabbing any numbers of offers that were coming his way. Instead he waited. He stayed at NBC because The Tonight Show was his dream, and they were dangling his dream in front of him.

Boom, dream comes true. Yay.

Boom, dream cancelled for lack of ratings after seven months. Not yay.

Boom, dream handed back to the person who promised to give the show to him. Really not yay.

A lot of people can relate to that feeling of watching a dream get ripped away, especially in Generation X, as my friend Chan so eloquently noted in response. Another friend of mine from college sent me what she called a really, really long answer that only slightly has to do with Conan's humor being better than Jay's middle-of-the-road, sort-of-snicker funny.

What she talked about was her Tonight Show, and I'm blurring details for a reason, a dream job that was dangled then yanked away by what she called "a vindictive, spiteful, arrogant, know-it-all Baby Boomer". She waited her turn. She got the job, and a couple of months later it was gone because he wasn't ready to let it go. As she wrote: "So to have Jay retire, Conan get his dream job, and then have it all yanked back on a whim when you haven't had enough time to prove yourself . . . yeah, I can sympathize with Conan. Quite a bit."

A lot of my generation can, not necessarily because all of our stories match up with Conan's. This is more about a feeling of dread that whatever it is we are working for will not be there, a giant pyramid scheme where we are putting in the work so others can retire well but there is not going to be anything left for us. Or if it is, that some guy like Leno doesn't just grab it back.

Conan addressed this angst in his final show, a poignant plea to his Team Coco-ites.

"All I ask is one thing, and I'm asking this particularly of young people who watch, please do not be cynical," Conan said. "I hate cynicism. For the record, it is my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get but, if you work really hard and you are kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. It's just true."

I believe him. I do. What happened to him, though, pushes me closer to cynical. And definitely in spitting distance of mad. What NBC and Leno don't understand is how much animosity there is out there from what is generally considered a key demographic. I realize my Facebook is not a focus group of any merit but most of them say they have no intention of ever watching Leno again. And wherever Conan lands, we will watch this time. He is one of us, and we are sick of getting screwed.

-- jengel

The Fallacy In Wade Phillips' "High Road"; Or Why The Parcells Comparison Is Idiotic

I kind of just wish Cowboys coach Wade Phillips had used my name in his defense of his Dallas tenure down in Miami for Pro Bowl week; "critics" seems so impersonal. I thought we were tighter than slightly veiled references. 

Oh well, I definitely recognized myself in his defense of himself to S-T beat man Clarence E. Hill Jr. in MIami. 

"I take pride in that we won a lot of games. People don't realize how hard it is to win games. They do if they look at the previous four years and the years before that. We won 34 games in three years. Bill (Parcells) won 34 in four years and previous one before that won 34 in six or eight. That's the only thing. I just don't think people realize how hard it is to win."

I am people. I have been critical of Wade, and have been complimentary of Parcells. And am now part of a larger group of people giggling at this actually very pathetic defense of himself. A Parcells comparison, reallly? You could not think of anything better, or at least something not so easy to pick apart? Of course, not. So let the shredding commence.

Comparing yourself to Parcells is cheap and insulting, because it presupposes both coaches walked into similar situations. Even Parcells haters would not argue this. Parcells inherited a joke. Wade inherited a team with a strong foundation, built by Parcells.

1. The Cowboys had two first-round picks (Ebenezer Ekuban and safety Roy Williams) in the four seasons prior to Parcells arrival. Wade had Terence Newman, DeMarcus Ware, Marcus Spears and Bobby Carpenter.

2. Parcells inherited Quincy Carter as his QB. Wade got Romo.

3. Parcells inherited a team that had won 15 games the previous three years. Wade inherited a team that had won 34 in four years.

And if anybody is still unconvinced, Wade himself said upon arrival that the Cowboys had "no holes". Those were his words. The reason Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was willing to hire a guy like Parcells was because the roster was swiss cheese.

So rest on your playoff win, Wade. And zip it with Parcells comparisons, they embarrass you.

-- jengel

Blog, Twitter and FBook peeps: Does Tim Tebow, abortion, Super Bowl talk belong in sports pages?

OK, so I had planned on avoiding Tim Tebow/anti-abortion/Super Bowl ad talk because a) Nothing brings people further apart quite like abortion talk and b) Because even though I do not mind diving into political minefields, I wasn't sure if this issue belonged in the sports pages.  

But "The Ad" is everywhere and getting harder to ignore. And I have a strong opinion.

Alas, I write for you, the sports reader. So I ask ... do you want to read about Tebow and abortion and advertising in your Saturday S-T? I will abide by your wishes, probably.

Hugs and kisses,

jengel

Remember how close you thought the Cowboys were? Possibly time to rethink after what we saw in the NFC Championship game.

Loved this football weekend, love-love-loved both games right up until my media brethren started inevitable Favre worship. I like Favre, really I do. He charismatic and talented and down to earth and so good for The NFL. What he is not is perfect, or above criticism, or a messiah of any sort. Yet we were treated to typical over-Favre-ing of his injury and his toughness, et al. Can you imagine if Tony Romo had had that kind of game? Do you see everybody making excuses for him?

So enough of this Favre worship. Please, and let's dive into an abbreviated 5 1/2 Cowboys-ish truths, as we exit Championship Week and journey toward The Super Bowl:

1. What happened in New Orleans makes me downgrade, not upgrade the Cowboys. I left the Cowboys 34-3 loss to Minny thinking "they just lost to a better team". The Vikings defense was nasty, and Brett Favre just seemed to be unstoppable. So imagine my surprise when Saints QB Drew Brees goes basically untouched and a Saints defense loaded with Cowboy rejects knocks the you-know-what out of Favre. I have heard the crowd noise excuse and sort of buy in. Watching the Saints beat Minny has me thinking maybe this Cowboy team is not quite as close as I thought. Arrow definitely pointing up ... but I can not shake this feeling that what we saw from the Cowboy offensive line has potential to be a big problem next season. 

2. NFL overtime rules are ridiculously ridiculous. Something like 52 million people watched the NFC Championship, witnessing an epicly entertaining game. I was glued and then woohoo, overtime. Another 15 minutes of this game except we never saw Favre again. What we saw was a coin flip, a lot of official face time and seemingly endless reviews and then a Saints field goal to win. Are they serious? Is this really the best th NFL can give us?

3. Seriously, Southlake, what do y'all have in the water that turns regular kids into football players? After spending a week at The Fake National Championship game where I saw McElroy and little Newton and Adam Ulatoski, I watch Garrett Hartley kick the game-winning field goal for The Saints. And GH needs to be tattooed on every forehead at Valley Ranch. Good kickers matter, and Dallas needs to find a reliable and talented guy capable of making a 40-yarder under pressure.

4. Peyton Manning is the best QB of my lifetime. I feel a little weird typing that sentence before he wins another Super Bowl, and do not confuse this with a prediction. Anybody who frequents this space on a regular basis knows my motto "there are no winners on losers". Manning has a ring but another gives him a little separation. Whatever happens against NOrleans, though, I am really starting to think I am witnessing those once in a generation athletes in Manning.

5. Favre will be back. Of course, he'll be back. Anybody saying otherwise, including him, is not paying attention. There is no way he is going to let his last NFL pass be that sorry interception which he never should have thrown and he knows he shouldn't have thrown. So get ready for another offseason of Favre butt kissing by the media and waffling and eventually Favre seeing his shadow and coming back for another year.   

5 1/2: The Pro Bowl is a Jokey Jokemaker, an embarrassment. David Garrard? Really?

-- jengel

What Tom Hicks said that did not fit, including his defense of The Empty Golf Shirt aka John Hart

OK, it is a low blow to call Hart, The Empty Golf Shirt. It is not my nickname, for starters. Mr. Randy bestowed that upon Hart back when I had Cowboy beat writing duty and I do not know him well enough to ridicule him. Or really at all.

I know his Rangers handiwork, and obviously not a fan.

Talking to almost former Rangers owner Tom Hicks on Monday, we talked Hart and many topics which did not fit into a daily newspaper column. We only have so much room folks. So I have accumulated a few of his quotes that I found interesting, and thought you might.

On John Hart: "He had built a dynasty in Cleveland the right way. Instead of letting him do it the way he had done before, I tried to get him to do it on a faster track. People don't want to hear this but I would give John Hart credit for the orginal plan to start over again and do it right. JD totally bought into the plan, and totally built on it. And Nolan subscribes to it."

On being an owner in this town with Jerry Jones and Mark Cuban: "We are in an unusual market, two mercurial owners that are very unusual for their respective sports. Our media likes to make the owner more important than he should be. The owner ought to make the business side work and get the right people."

On expectations of new owner Chuck Greenberg: "Nobody can say (Chuck) needs to bring money out of his own pocket. He has investors he has to convince. I hope people remember that. I didn't have to ask, obviously that is where some of the debt came from."

More on the last one at a later date. Very important detail, very important.

-- jengel

To quote Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, let's cut through the b.s. ...

... Wade contract = two years of money, one year to win Super Bowl.

Or that's what I heard in almost an hour of press conference. Did you hear this, too? Or is that what my husband calls my "Jen ears?"

Oh yeah, I also heard Coach Wade say he has had a championship defense since KC and a pretty good O. Shot? You betcha.

-- jengel

Galloway wants him fired. I want him mentored. So how hot exactly is the seat The RHG finds himself on in Dallas?

Coach Wade is back. Long live Wade.

Two more years*. And one big question: Does he really get to be The Real Head Coach?

My compadre, Mr. Randy, handled this topic really well this a.m. right here. Including this very telling exchange between Coach Wade and Fox's Pam Oliver going into halftime:

Pam: "What changes do you need to make?"

Wade: "We're fine."

Pam: "But what about the heavy pressure on Romo?"

Wade: "Well, we're doing the same thing to them."

Now I ask you, does this sound like a coach talking or a defensive coordinator? A defensive coordinator, of course. So in a game like that playoff game in Minny, when The O is struggling with pressure and questionable playcalling, is Wade able to jump The Redheaded Genius, aka Cowboys offensive coordinator and assistant head coach Jason Garrett? Who has authority to tell The RHG "stop with that nonsense?" And who made the call on kicking the field goal on fourth-and-1 early? If your answer is Wade, are you sure?

Yes, we have a problem in Cowboysland. We have two head coaches, thus leading to nobody except really the owner over the OC. 

Mr. Randy's solution is firing The RHG. I think he's crazy. How about calling Dan Reeves back, as a mentor. 

Because mark my words, The RHG WILL BE a successful head coach in this league at some point, and Cowboys fans will cry about how he got away. Forgetting they helped run him from town. 

See also: Sparano, Tony and Payton, Sean.

Public sentiment seems to be goodbye and good riddance on The RHG, or at least that group is the most vocal. So I ask you ...

Your turn: How hot exactly is the seat The RHG finds himself on?

-- jengel

ps. * = wtg, Jerry. A two-year extension is perfect, especially since The NYG owner hinted of lockdown in 2011 in The NYT. So this basically is a one-year deal, with two-year money. The message: "go win a Super Bowl next year". Excellent work, Jerry. Excellent. Three was too much. One brought too many questions. Two is not really two, yet it sounds like an extension. 

There is no "I" in team but there is in Mike Jenkins

Just reading my Twitter feed (@engeljen) and find this from Cowboys cornerback Mike Jenkins:

"Yeah, they obviously screwed me."

Hmmmmm. Wonder what he might be talking about? 

 

Possibly the Pro Bowl, where his teammate Terence Newman was selected to replace an injured Cardinals CB Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie rather than him? 

 

Jenkins had a better year. So what? Welcome to The Pro Bowl, where rep is rewarded. 

 

Of course, this is unlikely to help my relationship with my Twitter nemesis. Oh well.

 

-- "that jenn lady" 

Terence Newman: Cowboys good because they were bad, so what does that say for 2010 when expected to be good?

A big reason why Coach Wade returns for another, and another, and yet another, is the belief Dallas has turned a corner and next year may be The Year. 

Super Bowl, baby.

All of this based on very imprecise formula of Dallas finished December strong + a playoff victory = definitely onward and upward in 2010.

 

Tap those brakes, just a little.

 

Talking to Cowboys cornerback Terence Newman (and that's Pro Bowler TNew for all of you haters) about why he felt this season had ended so well Monday brought up a good question. How much of this was talent rising? And how much was us-against-them rage?

"The way I like it is when you have everybody stacked up against you, you know. It makes it easier just to go out and play instead of having the high expectations and you don't live up to what you're supposed to do and you're expected to do," Newman said. "I like being underdogs. I think it's definitely something that's good for us as a team. We work good as underdog."

 

They are not going to be underdogs next year, just like they were not underdogs going into Minny. Not unlike 2008, expectations were high and results did not follow.

 

Just a little food for thought as we wait for The Big Wade Returns Announcement.

-- jengel

Cowboys can not get Coach Cupcake 3yr extension announcement right; harbinger of epic fail?

Let me get this straight: The Cowboys are denying a report on a website owned, operated and editorially controlled by them that Coach Wade Phillips has been given a three-year contract extension.

Wow, just wow. 

Upon hearing this giggle-worthy moment in Cowboy infamy, I had two thoughts:

a) Owner Jones finally came to his senses after seeing this colossal screw up in print and had this yanked until he figured a way to explain to Wade that he meant as defensive coordinator, or;

2) Jerry has just plain lost his mind and actually signed on for another three years of Wade.

Of course, the answer is 2. Show of hands: Who didn't know Wade was back? Of course, he was/is which makes Tuesday's flips and flops seem strange.  

A quick timeline:

9:21 a.m.: Cowboys send note to media basically saying DO. NOT. ASK. Jerry football questions at boxing press conference or we are going to be mad. Really mad.

1ish: Jerry answers football questions at boxing press conference but refuses to say, for certain, if Wade is coming back.

Sometime immediately afterward: Jerry goes on ESPNews and confirms Wade is for sure back, saying "We need continuity. If I look back at the mistakes I've made, there are many. But if I look back at them, having the number of coaches I've had over the last 16 years is a big one. And so continuity, even if it is with coaches that might not be the high-glamour coach, the Super Bowl-winning coach, continuity is more important than that."*

* What he seems to be saying is "Man, do I regret getting rid of The Jimster but I am going to make up for it by keeping Wade long past his expiration date. And I hope, hope his part about not needing a Super Bowl-winning coach does not mean that is no longer the standard. Much more on this in a blog in the a.m. It is late and every time I listen to this (thanks dcfanatic @thedallascowboysshow.com, as always for passing this along) my brain hurts.

Sometime after that:dallascowboys.com posts story saying Wade getting three-year extension.

Not long after that: Story yanked.

Bottom line: Wade is getting a three-year extension, and the Cowboys have yet to figure out how to sell this to angry fans. Much brain-storming to do between now and end-of-week presser.

-- jengel